Ummm...

Today was not a good day for me. It wasn't so much aches and pains, though thats how it all started. I wanted to finally get out of the house, go be part of the world... and it didn't happen. During the week, to keep my husband sane I stay home with the girls, because of the shaky spells, random dizzyness and anxiety attacks. The anxiety always strikes while pregnant. No idea why. So I rely on my weekends for getting out of the house and feeling like I am a normal person.

I didn't sleep in today, not because I couldn't, David is amazing at letting me sleep in on weekends when he is home... I just couldn't sleep. Surprise, surprise. I need the sleep and it just doesn't come. Looking at pictures of myself recently I feel like I look like a walking zombie. I definately do not feel attractive, something hard for me to deal with right now. So when I get compliments on how I look, it makes my day, hell it makes my entire week. Its the little things that please pregnant women, or non-pregnant women for that matter.

Headache from hell attacked me today. I haven't had a headache like that in who knows how long and I sure hope another one doesn't plan on visiting me anytime soon! I spent most of the day lounging on the couch with my amazing husband taking care of the kids, cleaning outside and the cars. Right now I am upstairs with the kiddos while they watch movies so Daddy can be in the garage with his buddies for much deserved guys night of poker. That man deserves that and so much more.

There are months to go in this pregnancy and already things as simple as walking up the stairs leave me a bit winded. It makes me feel like a wimp. Really, who is out of breath walking up the stairs of their own home? Ugh. And here I am whining again... I detest whining.

Tomorrow will be a better day... I hope.

Pain

It started last night... we were waiting on David to get home from work when I heard a loud crash and Peyton (youngest) crying in the toy area. I threw off my blanket and tossed my book aside to run to her. Somehow she managed to get this toy sorter 4 tier bucket system to topple over on her, and all the buckets had fallen all over her (yes, we need to anchor it). The stand was sideways wedged between the wall and the cabinet so I had to pull and tug a it to get it and my baby girl free. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, she was still crying from being scared by it though so I swooped her up to cuddle her for a bit.

Those 5 minutes of actions led to a night full of pain. Back pain, stomach pain. You name it, and it most likely was hurting. It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't Peyton's fault for the pain, it was just an accident. I realize now though, I really can not move the same as I did with one at all. There is no room for accidents right now and many things bring pain.

This morning I found it hard to wake up. My back was still sore and the muscles just felt like they were being rung out like wet rags. But, the kids needed to be up and get ready for school, fed, and so on and so forth. Forcing myself out of bed I realized my stomach had this shooting pain up the side of it. I ended up laying back down for a few minutes and it calmed down. I guess I really did strain myself last night. Nothing seems wrong though, and going to the doctor won't solve anything. Muscle pain is what it is, and everything else is chalked up to stretching. They told me this time wouldn't be nice and easy stretching and growing like one (that was easy??) but rather feel rapid and at times violent. Nice.

I think the couch and I will be best friends through the remainder of this pregnancy. Half way there...

Resting

At yesterdays Perinatologist appointment the doctor saw and pointed out an old bleed inside. She said at this point, its not bleeding and is okay but its like a bruise would be. The placenta is attached, but has pulled slightly from that area as the bruise will not allow it to attach there. In her words I need rest and to stop being super mom. Not so easy, but I will do my best.

Tonight I found myself getting easily frustrated at the slightest of things which quickly turned from frustration to crying over nothing. Fun, right? My poor husband. He is such a good man. Since I already had dinner started for the kids (I was in another not wanting to eat mood), he sent me upstairs to rest in bed. He evem set up a computer up here so along with a tv, I am all set.

Its hard to eat lately. I can't force myself to eat. If something doesn't look good, or I don't have an appetite I just can't eat. David doesn't like that answer though. Tonight I was content having water and canteloupe for dinner. That didn't satisfy him. So here I sit with a plate of tacos in front of me that smell delicious and I am hesitating. I have got to eat, I know that. It's just not easy right now. Aside from not wanting things, or just looking at something and it making me gag, the babies are pushing on my belly making me full with just a few bites down. The triplets are all great weights, and all their stats look great so I don't see the big deal. Guess I will just have to keep those protein drinks on hand if this continues. Those really aren't so bad and are easier than eating half the time.

I'm healthy, and they are healthy and that's what matters right now. I will rest as much as anyone tells me to so that I can avoid bedrest for as long as possible.

Growing Belly

This is to keep track of the growing belly. I should have started sooner, but oh well :)

Here I am at 5 months, 17 weeks, taken yesterday 2/23/2010

2nd picture is the first I took, at 4 months

How this all started...

I bet a lot of you are wondering what went through my head to become a surrogate. Well... lots, really. Infertility is something that is very close to me (because of people who are close to me who unfortunately suffer from it), and I like to help when I can. My husband and I have four wonderful children together, and the more I looked at them, I knew I wanted to try to give that gift to a couple who couldn't conceive.

In the begining I wasn't quite sure where to start, and spent many hours (yay for nap time!) searching google for surrogacy related articles. I found a local Houston surrogacy agency and wrote to them for more information. They asked that I fill out their forms to request information, and then without sending any, denied me for weight. Really? All I wanted was information. Sure, I was still a bit overweight from having my 4th child just a few months earlier, and it sent a blow and bad feeling. Discouraged, I walked away from the idea for a few months.

The desire to help just never went away, and I returned to my search. I found a new agency that was more than willing to provide information and talk with me about the process. Extraordinary Conceptions, based in Southern California, is the agency I chose to work with. They staff friendly people and are easy to work with. The paperwork was easy to fill out, as well as the applications and soon enough I found myself as a searchable surrogate on their website. It took only 4 months to be matched with the Intended Parents I am now carrying triplets for.

Everything just seemed meant to be from the start of meeting them. I really don't know another way to put it. I've always believed everything happens for a reason, and we were brought together for a reason.

The screening process, matching process, medications, injections, many invasive ultrasounds to measure how things were coming along finally brought us to San Diego, California for the transfer in mid November. The doctor transferred two healthy looking 5 day old embryos and sent me home for 3 days strict bedrest. No walking around, no getting up, no showering, no bending, nothing other than getting up to use the bathroom for three whole days. It felt like an eternity and I was so grateful for that warm shower on the third day!

Back down to San Diego the day I was let off bedrest for bloodwork and to spend the day down at the beach before having to return home to Houston. (Side Note: Southern California is my home... where I was raised, Houston, is temporary haha).

I knew I was pregnant right away. I craved spicy and meat and had to have Mexican food. Gladly my husband indulged and we ate Colimas in Oceanside twice on that visit - best carne asada burritos on earth, hands down! I drank spicy V8 juice as a treat and savored it. Still, we had to wait until a doctors blood test a few weeks later to determine if the pregnancy was successful.

At home I was nauseaus, tired and just knew. The 1st beta had numbers in the 6,000's to which the doctors were happy and suspected both embryos took. My 2nd beta doubled just as they wanted. The IPs were on Cloud 9. I was beyond thrilled to have sucessfully gotten pregnant on the first attempt. Still, more injections followed. Two shots in the rear on Mondays and Thursdays, every other day was a single shot, along with all the pill form medication. The shots lasted through the entire first trimester and let me tell you it wasn't easy. There were days when I was so sick and ready to throw up I didn't even want to stand up, but knew it had to be done.

Seven weeks pregnant the IPs, myself, and my two youngest children went to the OB to see how things were going. After the initial appointment they decided to do an ultrasound to see how many babies we had. First shot showed two sacs and two babies... fraternal twins! Oh wait... what's that?? One sac had two babies in it! Identical twins! So that day I found myself not pregnant with one or two... but three babies! You should have seen the tears of joy in that room!

17w1d - Appointments

Today I am 17w1d pregnant. We started the day very early, having to be out the door by 8am to get to the hospital in time for check in at 8:30am. Thankfully my friend Randi came over to sit with the two older kiddos since it was another 20 minutes until their bus got here. We met the IPs and checked in for the Level 2/ Perinatologist visit. David came along (thank God!) and watched the two younger girls while I went in for the appointments.

Fluid checks look great, still showing the twins are boys and the singleton is a girl. Everything looked great on the triplets, but here's the kicker. The Perinatologist (high risk doctor) told me to "stop being super mom and just lay down and rest. Really?? How on earth is this possible when I have my own 4 children to care for as well as a house to keep clean? I feel bad when David comes home and the house is a disaster, though he says he doesn't care. He says top priority is keeping me safe and rested. Still, I feel guilty when things aren't done. He works hard.

Lots of stretching and growing going on inside me, and it hurts sometimes. The triplets are all laying transverse (sideways) which explains the poking on my sides. So far Ive only gained 8lbs in 5 months and am happy about that. The doctors are happy with everything, and back we go in another two weeks.

Finally!

I was finally able to set up a blog about my adventure. For awhile there I was without a proper working computer, making things a bit difficult. I went through some rough points at the begining of this pregnancy and didn't write everything down, but will try to remember it all and post as much as possible. For now, here are the basics:

My name is Janae, and I am pregnant with triplets. I have four children of my own, and am carrying these triplets as a surrogate. In the begining with my beta numbers so high the doctor suspected twins... come to find out with an ultrasound at 7 weeks there were triplets! Back in November I had two of the IPs embryos transfered, both accepted and one split into identical twins. Everyone was in total shock, my body most of all. At least this explained the awful sickness and lack of energy for the first three months.

We have been seeing the OB and the high risk specialist, the Perinatologist every month but appointments were alternating every two weeks. Since I reached 15 weeks two weeks ago the Perinatologist wants to see me every two weeks for fluid checks on the twins and overall check ups by ultrasound. Tuesday will be a long day having to be at the hospital at 8:30am for the Perinatologist and level 2 ultrasound then hurrying over to my OB appointment at 10am. Hopefully, for once, the OBs office wont be so crowded and we wont be sitting around for nearly 3 hours. I sometimes wish I could see my old Dr who had a small office and didn't overload himself with patients. Still, this new Dr is good, just crowded... which does not make for fun times with me bringing two toddlers and being a grouchy, hormonal pregnant woman.

To be continued...