A Helper

I now have a "helper" who stays at my house 3 days a week. This eases David's mind but I am still so-so on the whole idea. I have never had help with anything, the house is my responsibility to clean, my children are mine to take care of. But right now the doctor wants me to rest as much as possible, and is the one who suggested we get some help around here. I hate the feeling of not being able to do these normal things on my own right now. It makes me feel useless.

Don't get me wrong, the help is great. My house is so clean on the days she is here, helping David as much as me in that area. Before, poor overworked David was working his fulltime job only to come home, cook dinner and clean up the house. I would do what cleaning I could, yet it wasn't near what I was able to do before becoming pregnant with the triplets.

The downside to all this... yes, always a downside. My 21 month old baby girl Peyton is in her shy stage. She only wants Mommy or Daddy, and when helper is here she screams whenever she comes near her. Helper tried to fill Peyton's sippy cup and my little drama queen had an all out meltdown! She clings to me, clawing her way onto my lap whenever helper is around. This is more of a burden than help. But what to do about it? She does a lot around the house, tells me to sit everytime I get up, and is great with Baylee. Peyton is my only issue. I am hoping she relaxes and realizes that helper is our friend and warms up to her.

All this brings me to the issue of my upcoming (1st ever!) c-section. We have no family around to count on and leave the kids with, and friends all have families and children of their own. We would prefer someone to be here at the house with the kids to make it easy for them, and for them to be able to sleep in their own beds. Right now I told David that we will find a sitter during the day and he can come home with them at night. This still worries him, because he is worried if something should happen to me at the hospital while he is away. I would miss him of course, but the kids need him more than I do. I just need him there for the hard part... the surgery. Still thinking this all over, still worried, still scared.

Doctor appointments tomorrow, perinatologist and level 2 ultrasound with babies measurements. Hoping all is well as I have been horribly sick with an awful cold for 6 days now.