Dr visit week 21

Every other Tuesday is a morning full of doctors appointments for me and the triplets. This was our 21 week appointment and fluid check on the babies. It was the quickest appointment with the Perinatologist, level 2 ultrasound scan that we have ever had, and according to them everything looks great. Mentioned the bleeding two weeks prior but the Perinatologist didn't seem fazed by it and said to follow up with my OB, which I had been. They just seemed very cut and dry at this appointment, but everything looked great so nothing to worry about.

Up on the 3rd floor at the OB appointment, I told her about my stomach tightening and the pain I have been in lately. She wanted to check me and make sure everything was closed, which it was. That aside, she has a growing concern on my health. Things look great with me so far, but the pain is increasing and I still have 4 children at home to care for. Sure, two of them are at school until 4pm, but the little two are the difficult ones. She said its taking a toll on me having to go up and downstairs putting the baby down for her nap, making breakfast and lunches, lifting the youngest to get her up for diaper changes and so on and so forth. That on top of taking care of the house (which I feel like I slack on anyway, not cleaning nearly as much as I used to and my house just feels dirty. I hate it.) Anyway, back on my thought train, the Doctor wants me to get some help. She asked if any family was around, and nope both our families are back in California. We have lived here for three years without help and I am not used to getting help. She told us that if I do not start getting some help and resting more they will have no choice but to put me in the hospital. That is not something I am ready for, I cannot do that to my family. So, get help it is.

After doing everything myself (with help from my husband) how do you all the sudden ask for help, or be okay receiving help? I feel so weird about this! I hate even asking friends to watch my kids for a few hours, though they tell me all the time they are willing and ready to help out. I'm used to being the one providing the help, not asking for it, and not needing it myself.

Looks like we will be getting some help 3 days a week with someone staying here those days. To me this is too weird. I want to lounge around in my pajamas with my girls and be lazy until we are ready to shower. We still usually end up back in lounging or pajama clothes after showers anyway. With someone here, I would feel the need to be up and dressed properly, showered and not lazy. The exact opposite of what the Doctor is wanting from me. How do I figure this out? My good friend Randi has offered to come help and be put to work. I don't mind being lazy around her, but as far as putting a friend to work in my house, I just wouldn't feel right. This is only for the next few months, I get that, but it is a hard pill to swallow for me at the moment. Will update as things go on. Wish me luck and sanity as I am already feeling antsy and wanting to get out and about. I will do what is best for these babies and my body and stay planted on this couch though... thank God for internet access!